author Kim Smith's Website





   March 2008 Interview

INTERVIEW WITH PATRICIA FOWLER


I believe that aspiring writers are what venues such as this one are all about. I like to support and encourage promise. Here is an interview with just such an author.


Welcome Pat, and tell us, all about your writing.
I only know that I have been bitten badly by writing. I have no real training. I have no master who has taught me theme and character and plot. Nothing. I have only my heart that sees things tender; my ear that tries to shake off the trite, tries to make the words sting; and the guile to think that I could ever pull it off. That is why I write. I am caught in this riptide, so I might as well swim.


Give us an excerpt

...Maybe I fell in love with you again-forgave you for those beach runaways- when you brought me the little wild rose that you found clinging to a fence post in your yard. You were on your way to work and you saw it there, drooping in the noon day sun. You told me that you went back into the house and got a pair of scissors; snipped it from its perch. You put it in a styrofoam cup, at the checkout counter, at the convenience store. Lots of people noticed it there, said it was so pretty. But you knew that it was all for me. St. Theresa had sent its bloom up just for me.
Wow. I was so moved by this! Very poignant!


What is your routine when writing?

I so wish that I could tell you that I have this darkish little room, lit only by a porcelain jade lamp, that throws a perfect triangle of light on my yellow pad. The room is tucked under the eaves, with bookshelves chock full of dog-eared leather classics, a big leather chair, a fireplace for cold nights. And there's a soft golden retriever lying at my feet, waiting for me to nuzzle my toes in his fur when I feel the slightest glitch in my inspiration. I go here and look out of a huge picture window that casts its eye on a wide field- blanketed by snow in winter, by lupine in summer. I go here, every night, at seven sharp, after I have put the day away. And I stay as long as it takes, until my scribbles satisfy my heart.


But here's the real deal. I have a dusty little laptop stationed at the left corner of the soapstone bar in my kitchen. I can glance over my left shoulder anytime I want to watch the birds at the feeder. There is always a stack of bills to be paid in a pile to my left, and laundry to do in a pile directly behind me. I try to ignore both piles.


Four days a week, I am a mild mannered therapist, working with children with physical and cognitive challenges. And writing reports. But this fall I took this writing course that really and truly seems to have "awakened the sleeping giant" within me. As soon as I get home, and all week end long, all I want to do is write. I have stopped watching mindless TV, stopped sleeping late on Saturday mornings, stopped sweeping dust bunnies; I feel really...happy. Like I have this great new world to explore inside of me. Which often gets in the way of cooking dinner!


So, the truth is I don't have a routine, yet. I steal time whenever I can. This is such a new world. I am starry eyed- in love with it all. I just haven't yet figured out how to get my all my worlds to happily collide.


Do you ever show people your WIP?


Yes. But first I write for me. I just try to throw it down. And then I read it aloud. I edit like crazy. I sleep on it. I obsess about it. Then I edit it again. Then I read it to my son, who at the tender age of seventeen, is more well read than I could ever dream to be. He also has radar for all that is not true, all that is not me. He knows me so well. He knows my heart- because I pour it out to him all the time. He knows when I have allowed something maudlin, or trite, or cute to clog up my writing ...and he calls me on it. He's my best critic. I rely on him, his ear is so true, it amazes me. When I hit it right, he just smiles.


I also share some work on Gather- it's wonderful to get that immediate feedback. That's where I met Aaron Lazar and Marta Stephens. My new American Idols. But I must drive the Gather-ites insane because I constantly edit, repost, edit...well, you get the idea.


And I also post to my friend, NH author, Lorraine Lordi. She has that great ear, too, and when I hit it right for her, her eyes light up, and I know that I've got it!


Do you listen to music while you work?


Do I listen to music... Oh no. I love to sing way too much! The music totally distracts me. I would be singing along. I don't even like people talking to me when I get going.


Who has influenced your writing most?


Okay, this is the true confessions part of the interview. I don't read a lot. I do read, but a lot of work-related, professional stuff, to stay current, to be good at what I do. I was horrified when I read, in Stephen King's book, On Writing, "...If you don't have time to read, you don't have the time or the tools to write. Simple as that." That was a slap in my face. It really stung! I felt like he had shoved me out of the writers' club, before I even had a toe in the door! And then off a cliff, for good measure. No hope for me.


So, I have resolved to read more. If only I could stop writing! When I was young, I devoured Laura Ingalls Wilder. All about family...and great stories! As an adult, I would say that the author who has most influenced my writing would be Truman Capote. I love his lush description, quirky plots and the exquisite tenderness that floats in every line. I also love Eudora Welty, Pat Conroy, and John Steinbeck. Oh, and Robert Frost, of course. I'd love to learn to write with one thousandth of their style and grace.


Hmmm. Three Southern writers. I lived in Georgia and Carolina as a kid; maybe Southern souls speak louder to me...where's that Faulkner...?


As far as who led me out of the cave? Lorraine Lordi, a NH writer, the teacher in my 6 week Writers' Workshop, who nudged me into the light. As to who shined the light on me? Aaron Lazar and Marta Stephens. Marta gave me a wealth of advice and so, so many leads to follow. And an open ear, all for me. I thank you, Marta, for taking the time to even give me a look.


And Aaron, well, he has been beyond generous and encouraging. I can't say enough. I mean, I won my first writing prize EVER, with Aaron, with a piece I wrote called, Into The Woods. Aaron has made me feel like I really have something special. And he takes his precious time to hear me. He believes in me so strongly, that I fairly glow.


And here now, I have this interview with you, Kim. Thank you for this beautiful introduction, this exposure. I am blown away. Look at that pink rose! Right out of my story, Landslide. Wow.


You have all taken me...me...this green as they come, rank amateur... under your wings. And you have given me cause to believe that I do have something to say. I have never felt so gratified. Really. Never. So was it Capote, really? No! It's the MB4 Gang! Yay! I love you all!


Have you always wanted to be an author?


Yes. If only I could have really listened to that little voice in my heart. I went to college so that I could have a profession, a way to earn a decent living. I thought it the sensible, the independent thing to do. But when people have asked what job I would love to attempt, I have always said that I would love to be a writer, there under the eaves in that little room, looking out on a wide field...or if I really had my druthers...the ocean.


As I alluded, this past fall, I dared to step outside of my roles as a wife and a mom and an occupational therapist. I decided to indulge this little fantasy, that maybe I could write. So I joined a Writers' Workshop in my town. To do something that -in my heart-I knew I always wanted to do. And I couldn't believe the way writing made me feel. I began to feel this thunder, inside. I wonder now, why have I waited so long? This all feels so wonderful! If I never get anywhere with my writing, I have touched some hearts. Most notably, my own.


How do you write? Free thought or outline?


Oh my! I never use an outline...the mere thought of that gives me a rash. So I free write, I guess. I have to start using the lingo, here! I have a lot of stories of my life that just write themselves. I just close my eyes, walk through them again, and write it all down. Like all the stories that I have written about my Mom's failing health, and her recent death. Or old stories that I have told and retold or have heard told and retold. I try really hard to picture everything before I write it: a look, a gesture, the way a place looked, or smelled; the way it made me feel. I try to get right back there. Sometimes, I actually do it, mimic the action that I want...like a "sniff of disgust"...good thing nobody's watching! And then I write that down. Try to put the best words I can to it. I love sentence fragments. Powerful. And metaphors- fresh ones- that sweep you off your feet. And heart stopping tenderness. I have to watch that sentimentality though. It can get the best of me.


What are you working on now?

I am working on a series of stories about my sister. She was the middle child of eleven children. That could be stressful enough! She was beautiful, loving and really funny. Above all, she fiercely loved her family. But her life was so complicated by her illness: manic depressiveness/ bi polar disorder, and by so many wrong turns and bad decisions. She tried hard to hold things together, but she never seemed to find her rhythm, never seemed to hit her stride. She was always struggling just to get by. She died of a massive cerebral hemorrhage, nine days before my son was born. Her young life was snuffed out so suddenly. That little light was burning along and then she was gone. Like some big wet fingertips shot through a thundercloud, and pinched her flame. And all that was left was this sad wisp of smoke.


I have no idea how it will all go together. So for now, I can't worry. I am not writing a book. Yet. I am writing a collection of stories about moments that I want to crystallize. If in the end, some sense can be made of the whole mish-mash, I will be so pleased. I have no idea how to structure it... I hope as I write, it will emerge. I am heartened that Stephen King says most of his stories emerge, just like that. I am finding that what he says rings so true to me.


I am invigorated to write something that will stick. Not tomorrow. But I'll work at it every day. I have never felt such a passion for anything like this. I feel like someone who has suddenly discovered a place so wonderful, that I don't know how to explore it all, in the time I have left. The kid in the candy store kind of thing...


And so, here I am, the sister sitting by the window in my kitchen. With the laundry pile behind me! Thinking about her. A lot. I don't exactly know why, but she keeps coming to me. She's nudging me, maybe, daring me to lay it down. All of it, the ugly and the pretty. What it was like being her, what it's like being without her.



Do you work on more than one piece at a time?

Yes I do. Sometimes I'll come up against a wall and so I'll just shift gears. Sit, stare at the keyboard until a thought hits me, and then I take off, see where it leads me. Most of the time, it's a dead end. But sometimes, stuff comes out of nowhere and I have to shake my own head in wonder. So far, I have written about real life events, so it's almost like I am just a scribe to the movie that's playing in my head. I long to make something up. I really want to try fiction, maybe a short story to start. I do know that I have never felt so electrified, as when I am writing.


What do you read when you are writing?
Well, I made that confession earlier, about my tendency to do professional reading before I indulge in pleasure reading. But it seems that writing has kind of saved me from myself. I love it and I want to be better. So I will follow the writers who say that reading is at the heart of writing... I'm happy to follow that heart beat.


I am now reading the gorgeous, Grass Harp, by Truman Capote. I am mesmerized. But let me say this. Really go out on a limb. Green people do this, I hear. And it's not that I have any right in heaven to doubt Mr. King's word, but we "newbies" are bold (and stupid)) like that.


In his book, On Writing (which I absolutely scream from the rooftops love), Stephen King says that "...you must be prepared to do some serious turning inward..." to be a great writer. He adds that "... your days as a member of polite society are numbered." He advocates having a book under your nose wherever you go. On this point, I differ. Doesn't the very best writing happen when you are immersed in the world, when you have your eyes and ears and nose locked in on every detail? Now, how are you going to get that with your nose in a book? Sorry, Mr. King.


If you had to write it now, what would be your epitaph?


My epitaph


 Hmmm... "I gave it my best shot." Or maybe... "Keep looking up"


Thank you all, here at MB4, for this wonderful opportunity. I hope that I don't let you all down. But I will "keep looking up" and "give it my best shot!"


!~Finis~!